Sunday, February 5, 2012

I’m bringing sexy back! – NOT!!!!

Last week (or the week before maybe………’s hard to keep track), in an effort to go back to the experimental purpose of this blog,  I asked my Facebook friends what is the number one trait that men look in their wives or girlfriends and committed to over exaggerate it for a week and record P’s reactions. There were many different answers about what was the number one most desirable characteristic on women, however two got the most votes:  Hotness (BIG SURPRISE!) and intelligence. I decided to start with hotness because I figured it would be easier……………..”OH HOW WRONG I WASSSSSSSSSSSSS” IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I not only failed on my commitment to be hot all week, but I also found out that I look like crap at work.
Monday, day one of the experiment started in a very promising way. I cut my morning gym routine short and spent 45 minutes fixing my hair and putting on makeup to go to work. When I got to work 80% of the people there asked me why I looked so fancy: SOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently I look like crap the rest of the time (it does usually take me 20 minutes to get ready :P)! My boss’ boss even asked me if I was going to a job interview. I just wanted to go home and wash my face aghhhhhhhhh! I kept on applying lipstick through the day (it doesn’t last long at all!) but 8 hrs in the office took a toll on my appearance and when I got home I definitely didn’t look as fancy anymore .The thought of spending 45 minutes fixing myself before P came home made me want to cry, so instead I took the lazy route out and instead of my signature mood killer granny pajamas I slipped onto a sexy Victoria's Secret baby doll.  Just as my dear Facebook contributor Jesse warned me (married 9 years), P’s confused face when he walked in the door was priceless!!! If I had to guess this is probably what went through his brain: “What is this woman trying to do?” “Is it our anniversary and I forgot!?”, “What am I supposed to say?”, “OMG I’m going to get in trouble if I say something?!”, “Hope she had time to make dinner” HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  To make things even worst my Victoria Secret outfit was on sale for a reason, when I woke up the next morning after leaving the heater on all night all of our bedding was pink. Apparently my sweat washed off the baby doll’s color and dyed all of our sheet pink …NOT SEXYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :’(((((((((((((((((

Stupid Victoria's Secret Sexy Outfit Dyed Our Bed!!!!! NOT SEXY!
The next day I did spent more time than usual getting ready in the morning, but honestly after P’s reaction the night before I was mentally defeated. I got home, put on my comfy sweats, made dinner and waited for P as normal. YES PEOPLE I GAVE UP AFTER TWO DAYS! Being constantly hot wife is exhausting and I really don’t think it matters that much to be honest with you. I can’t talk for all guys but for mine I don’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe if I had kept it going for longer he would have been happy about it and gotten used to it, but it is not like there is something wrong now and to be honest with you I am not the type of girl who wants to spend that much time being hot. I mean I do but I don’t want to try very hard at it :D
This whole thing about hotness got me thinking about the first time I ever saw my husband. I was going to a house party and as I was walking in, this incredible hot, cocky walking guy was getting out of a car. I WAS STRICKED BY CUPID’S ARROW INSTANTLY! Once we started dating I remember thanking God for giving me a hot boyfriend that I could brag about and because I was going to have good looking kids, if we ever got married. I used to stare at him all the time and could not believed the level of hotness God had blessed me with (besides my own oh course hehehehe). It’s been over seven years now and P is just as hot as ever only with a little more gray hair, and he still has that overly cocky walk. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t really think about it that much anymore. Unfortunately, I started to take it for granted, which probably means he takes my sexiness and my attempts to be prettier for granted as well. I am not saying this to be a downer; it is something that just happens when you’ve been with somebody for a long time. I am sure if you ask him about his wife he will tell you she is gorgeous, but I don’t think that’s the first think that comes to his brain when he sees me after coming home from work. But you know what, he should! And I should too! My friend Sara told me that she makes the effort to look at her husband as if it was the first time he ever saw him. How does he look different when you do that? When I do that, P LOOKS FREAKING HOT! So instead of trying to dress up overly hot every day, which is exhausting and confusing, I am just going to start looking at my husband as if I just saw him for the first time. I won’t be able to do that all the time of course, but I will definitely make the attempt to do it more. Maybe it will have an effect on him and he will start doing the same for me. After all he thought I was hot 7 years ago when I was 25 pounds heavier and a brunette. Either way, at the end of the day, in our relationship at least, I learned that overly hot was not something overly appreciated (that makes me think about the way I would react if P was waiting for me in a sexy outfit, I WOULD DIE LAUGHING!), the regular attractiveness that got you your mate in the first place is enough (don’t go lower than benchmark tough). Oh and I need to start looking better at work too……whatever.

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